i warned you,if you’re not into it..don’t read this..

an entry in my journal last feb.13..sayang..di ako nkapagblog khapon..

woohoo!its really nice..its valentines day tomorrow and i don’t even have someone to share it with..i feel ugly..i hope i’ll get sick so i’ll have an excuse not to attend my classes and just stay home..the one person i want to share it with doesn’t even text me for sometime now..maybe not even thinkin about me!!aagh!i don’t want to think about it na,,but i can’t help it..hope he’ll text me tomorrow..*note:feb.14-shucks!he texted me and i replied and he replied to my reply and i replied to his reply.. repeat few times..hehe*

what’s worse?my fone’s a bit quiet now..you could change it to ‘loud.mode’ and i bet you could count how many times would it beep..argh!

am i worthless?well,my mom says im not,and i believed her..but for some?i don’t know..maybe yes..lang nagmamahal saken..

i hate myself..for feeling this way.since when did i care about valentines day?am i pathetic?am i?i guess,and i hate to admit it..since when?since the night i left him,or he left me without even me noticing it?hu left hu? ’twas good ‘magalingakomagdala’..but honestly, behind all these plastered smiles and laughters and jokes.,a girl is lonely inside..like when she goes to sleep,thoughts run through her head..she hopes someone would fill that emptiness..before her sanity would left her and make her do something really nasty..not to herself though,glad she’s not the ’suicidal type’,so if you get to read this,would you come and calm her?she hopes you’re the one she’s waiting for sometime now..

i hope you’re the one i’m waiting for sometime now..

i don’t want to watch the television..all the shows feature something bout love,the radio plays sappy love songs,the papers write articles bout love..outside,couples hold hands,PDA-ing..ouch naman!la kong partner..i’ve something to ‘fess up..sometimes thoughts and or visions cross my mind..he-begging for my forgiveness..thats the insane part of me..hehe..siguro nga..kylangan tlga magsori minsan..but my rational part says that it won’t happen..well,maybe..when hell freezes over,twice!you know what’s ridiculous?im writing something like this..i mean this..asar talaga!!grrr..

i really hate myself at the moment..why in the world am i writing this?ampf! and why in the world am i blogging this?another ampf!