Did you ever have one of those recurring nightmares that keeps on coming back to haunt you? It gets worse everyday, right? I am having one of those right now, thrice counting the last a few days ago. But the thing with my nightmare is that I never woke up and felt that rush of relief realizing it was all but a bad dream. Because the thing you need to know about my nightmare is that I never had it at night, it happens in broad daylight, when I’m fully awake, devoiding me of that right to feel good after waking up again.

See, I’ve seen them unfold before my very eyes. It happened first on my sixth day at my second work. The Admin. Officer, Ms. Rose (not her real name) fired one of the employees because of his inefficiency and lack of driving force to change. I didn’t actually know how his work attitude is but I thought he’s okay, apart from two or three glitches with what was asked of him, but from what my officemates have relayed, he was inefficient but still has room for improvement, only if he tried harder. But somehow, the management went impatient waiting for him to change for the better so they decided to chuck him out of the company. Effective Immediately.

What was really pitiful about it was that he accepted it well. Ms. Rose even said that she would have liked it better if he went ballistic or showed the tiniest bit of anger with regards to the company’s decision.

Three days later, my second nightmare happened. This was far off worse than the first one since I’ve been friends with this girl during my two-week stay. For the sake of this article, and her privacy, let’s call her Summer. Summer had been the boss’ favorite girl at work; they share almost more than employee-employer relationship, they were like friends, siblings even. Summer was getting all praises from her, until that nightmare happened. Big boss noticed Summer’s slacking off at work and got really disappointed and unhappy that she decided to get rid of her.

Ms. Rose couldn’t do it since she was pretty tight with Summer like she was one of her daughters. I actually saw her cried over her termination. Summer cried too. She looked like hell when she came out of the room. But there’s absolutely nothing we can do about it. I was speechless, I felt like I was floating into oblivion. On my ninth day at work, the second person got the boot. And the only thing I did to show her my feelings was to hug her one last time.

Things went well over the holidays and the start of the year. But just as I thought that we left all those terrible terminations in 2009, another one came which prompted me to finally write this article. Red (not his real name too) got fired today. And I was beyond sad. I was feeling bad for a week already since I knew this one coming. In fact, every single termination, I knew it was coming. I felt like I was a psychic or a doctor telling her patient that he’s dying in a matter of minutes. It leaves a bitter taste in the mouth. I felt anger, pity and everything in between rushed over me. I kept thinking, what if I’m in their position? Or when will the next booting out of the company be? Would it be my name on the “Attention:” part?

It was like being in a reality TV you refuse to be part of. You never know when would the next tribal council be; or if Big Brother would give a task you can’t complete and kick you out of the house; or if the judges would kick you out even if you do not want to leave the competition.

But you see, if there’s one more thing similar with normal nightmares and mine, it’s the fact that I can’t do anything about it. Just like how we can’t move a single nerve ending in our body to snap out of it, I can’t say that I feel injustice in the air since I started working here.

You know what’s even harder on my part? I was the one who wrote two of those termination letters, even if I refuse to. Something I wouldn’t want my pen writing about and yet I cannot not do it, it IS part of my job. It felt like I just gave them poison. Somehow, it made me proved that writing is indeed mightier that sword. But I wouldn’t want my writing be put into that kind. I somehow cannot help but feel guilty for those people’s demise. I know it’s not my fault. I’m just part of the system. And I hate it.

It was injustice. Although, all three terminations had grounds, I feel that it was harsh and just rude. They were all terminated immediately. Sure, there were explanations and all that, but to just take your livelihood from you, it should take more than an explanation and your entire paycheck. I respect the management’s decision but I don’t get that they do it right away. No one-month notice, or two-week notice, not even a week’s notice. I know I shouldn’t be talking about notices when I did pull an immediate resignation on my first job. But it was different. In a day, a company could have a handful of qualified applicants for the job. But a person needs a week, a month, or sometimes even forever to get not just a job, but a job that they really want to do.

I remembered Red the last time I saw him. He was crossing the streets a few yards away from me. His back was facing me and yet I felt that I could see what his insides looked like; sorrowful, disappointed, lost. It was devastating, seeing people I work with got pulled out like weeds almost every other day. It was just awful indeed, ignorance is bliss. It was fun being a kid, nothing to worry about. But a grown up has to deal with everything. I hate being an almost grown up. Today, I learned too, that we all live in an unfair world. It’s going to mock you, laugh at you and challenge you.  And all you can do is play along with it, challenge it more, and enjoy it. After all, nobody has come out of it alive, no one will. And that’s how unfair it is.

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