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I just love this meme so much. Haha!

I was never really the friendly type. When I was in school, I only have a handful of friends, four or five at least, a core group. At one or two points, I became a part of a huge group. I think the first one was in elementary when two groups merged and the second one was in second year high school, when we called ourselves Jaberks. Gross, I know. I was cringing when I was typing that. Haha! After some time, both the bigger groups that I belonged in were divided into two smaller groups. If you’d ask me now, that is really bound to happen. Being part of a group of 10 people is just too many. You have to consider other people’s wants, dislikes, where they want to eat, what movie to watch, etc, etc. it becomes exhausting. And friendship is not supposed to be exhausting. It should be fun and you guys should be having lasting friendships and not gossiping about each other or something.

Back then, I thought I was being more friendly and less than masungit than usual. I mean, if you know me personally, I really don’t have the best attitude, I guess, to everyone. I always speak my mind and sometimes I can really be crass. Let’s just say that if I’m a food, I’m an acquired taste.

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Seriously, dude, if you’re like a really terrible person and you don’t have friends, watch FRIENDS. 

In elementary, some of my classmates tagged me as small but terrible. I never experienced getting bullied in high school like other people did, and I earned the moniker “Mean-a” back in college. It was flattering, that a girl that only stood 5’2 and weighs 80 lbs. becomes untouchable. I think it’s also because with the way my face looks; I have that bitchy resting face. I didn’t even know there’s a term coined for that until recently, I just got so used with people calling me “sungit” or texting me “nakita kita, nakasimangot ka na naman,” “nakita kita, tawagin sana kita kaso nakasimangot ka e,” and then there are those creepy “Ui, nakita kita, smile ka naman” text messages. Basically, people refer to me as a bitch.

With all of these things combined, it would not be a surprise that I only have few friends who I really consider as friends. When I was younger, I was jealous of people who are so friendly they know everyone and considers them friends. Like when you’re with them and you’re walking with the street, they’re like artistas or politicians or ants who always talk to somebody they bump into. Social butterflies, that’s what they’re called.

Growing up though, I realized that there’s really nothing to be jealous of. Because of my tactlessness, like I’m the type who says what I want before I even think about it (trying to change, people, I’m sorry friends, I know sometimes I still offend you haha) only a few people can really get me. Most of the time, they are of the same breed as I am. Or I don’t know, they just like, really, really love me. Chos.

Why am I writing about this? Wala lang. Life has been kind of in a dump lately, service provider-wise and I am trying to keep a brave face with all of this shit. Like I’m in a rollercoaster ride (no, it does not only go up) emotionally, mentally and financially. Like sometimes I find myself happy, other times I’m just so freaking emotional I get teary-eyed with stuff like “32 things that will restore your faith in humanity” post in BuzzFeed, and I usually don’t get emotional. And boy, am I glad that some of my closest friends are in the same boat as I am.

I’m just glad that I know I’m not alone in this. And that I have these people who I can run to and will go wherever I am if I just call out their name. Yes. Totally just stole that from “You’ve got a friend” 😛 I know that when they ask me what’s up, I know that they’re genuinely asking how am I doing, and not just asking for the sake of asking, or asking just to gossip and know the latest in showbiz happenings.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter if you have 1,000 friends on Facebook or 10. I don’t even care about the x number of my Facebook friends, the last time I checked, it was 624. I don’t know if I can count on 624 people when all of these things crumble on the thirtieth. But I can assure you, and I will bet the remaining pesos in my account on it, that I can totally count on at least 10 people in that list that they have my back. Because I know for a fact that although I have been called a meanie and a bitch countless of times, I am also a good friend, the astrologers said so. Kidding!

friends-season

Posting this photo instead so as not to create a “so hindi mo pala ako friend/core group” comment or message lol. Kidding! You guys know who you are. Plus, these guys are just so gorgeous in this photo. Except Ross’s hair. Why Ross, why?

For what it’s worth, the universe or the Man above may be giving me such a hard time finding the perfect guy, but he’s surely making it up for giving me wonderful friends. But God, universe, di riiin e. Hahaha!

P.S.

Shit, sorry sa post, nasa depressive mode ako. Let’s hope the next post I’m writing I’ll be in my manic mode. 🙂

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