So here’s the deal, when I’m not working on a script, not shooting, editing, writing a treatment or any production work for that matter, I just love sitting on my bed and watch TV. Well, not really TV, because I’m devoid of that basic human need (is that included in Maslow’s hierarchy? Just a little above WiFi? JK) since our TV broke down almost a year ago, wow, I survived without TV? Wow, I’m blabbing. Thing is, I can literally stay on bed the entire day and watch my beloved series. Bottom line, I’m the laziest person I know when in vacation, most especially during the long Christmas vacay. My body just want to make love with my bed all day long.
Full disclosure: I really tend to become a girl who needs to get a life when I’m on bingewatch mode ON.
Don’t believe me? I overheard Tonet (gay friend who recently dyed my hair) telling my mom that I lie on bed all day and that my boyfriend is my laptop. Oh yes. I’m not even offended. YAAAAS!
Why am I writing this? I think, nope, I am sure I’m binge-watching again. And I’m starting to hate it.
Telltale Signs You’re Binge-watching
Your back aches from lying in bed all day, errday. Oh, shit. I think my back just left an indelible mark on my bed and I need a back massage stat! But let me finish this episode first.
You avoid drinking water to limit the number of times you need to use the bathroom. That also includes bringing your food in your bedroom so you can eat and watch at the same time. Ooops! Don’t tell my insurance provider. Kidding!
You watch at least 10 (depending on the total running time of episodes) each day. Basically, you can finish an entire season in two days. And your eyes hurt from watching, but you can’t stop from watching! #bingewatcherproblems
Your mind has consistent throbbing pain from information overload (if you’re watching series that has lots of jargons, i.e, medical and legal dramas) and you use some of these jargons on regular conversations. Own it, baby! Like how I want to ‘overrule’ everyone (I’m currently binge-watching The Good Wife) or want to scream “Push one of epi!” Whatever epi is if you’re watching Grey’s or ER (?)
You mostly tweet about the series you’re watching. Am I starting to annoy you with my constant Will Gardner is super cute tweets?
You tell your friends you’re busy even if you just sit there and watch and wait if Ross and Rachel are ever going to get their shit together and stop being “Ross and Rachel”. If you cannot avoid going out with them, you pray that something comes up that will cancel the plan. Hello, my friend, you have suddenly become anti-social.
You always say “Just one more episode” but there’s a freaking cliffhanger you wanted to know the answer right away and before you know it, it’s 6am and you’re still saying “Just one more episode”
You start to ‘ship couples #Willicia #TeamJake #TeamFitz and then discuss with your other binge-watching friends about Will and Alicia’s bad timing or why you can’t decide if Olivia is much better off with Fitz or Jake. I get your woes Olivia, the struggle is real.
You have feelings for fictional characters and root for them. You know, I only “fall in love” with very few people, but whenever I do, most of them are fictional. I know, get a life, Carmina!!! Personally, I want a Monica-Chandler relationship, with Joshua Jackson’s face, Sherlock’s and Michael Scofield’s wit, and McSteamy’s body. The insanity. :p Also, the reason for this blog update.
You cry when someone you love dies. And start questioning the writers for playing with your fragile emotions. Damn you!!! Another reason for this blog update. 😥
You start to feel guilty about feeling all of this, but wake up the next day doing everything all over again. Like defending yourself that you still do something in between watching, like Facebook-ing, tweeting, cooking, taking a bath and even writing! Sure it’s about your current obsession with The Good Wife and Will Gardner and his face and lips and you daydream about how does it feels like to be kissed by those, eherm, or Alicia’s stupidity and why is she being such a prude?! or the fact that sure you go to work but you can’t wait to come home to watch a few episodes again, but at least you’re doing other things, right?! That still counts! #defense
Oooh, the struggles of a binge-watcher, if ever there’s a term.
Bu do you know that there are worse signs of a serial binge-watcher?
Like seeing actors in series you follow (Grimm, Homeland, FRIENDS, Gossip Girl, Emily Owens MD, Grey’s Anatomy, Smallville, Fringe, Desperate Housewives) cameo in the current series you’re binge-watching. Or dreaming about them like you’re part of the gang? Oooops, now you’re on your way to becoming the patron saint of couch potatoes.
“You know nothing, Jon Snow”
But if ever there is one thing I absolutely hate about binge watching is that I can’t keep myself from Googling about it. I know something, Jon Snow. Like a few days back, I was just taking a break from watching TGW season 3 and was Googling about Josh Charles innocently like who he’s dating (WTF he’s married and has a kid, kill me, NOW) SPOILER ALERRRRT!!!!!!! and I accidentally found out he dies on season 5 episode 15, and right there and then I wanted to scream NOOOOOO!!!! I mean why???? Dear, writers, I need answers!!!! Why are you doing this? At least Dawson’s Creek killed off Jen Lindley in the last episode, and so is Walter Bishop in Fringe! Why are you following Desperate Housewives’ footsteps of killing Mike mid-season? Why??? And so I’m putting off watching by blogging because I’m getting closer to not seeing him again and I don’t know if my binge-watcher TGW fan girl self can ever survive Will dying.
I hate these TGW writers. Who do you think you are? Why do you have to play gods on us viewers? Why do you have to be the jerk we dated who told us they’re not leaving or cheating and keeps on promising things but pulls the plug on our beating hearts and now we’re dead inside. #hugot
Do TGW writers somehow look up to Rowling or George RR Martin? Because I will seriously understand that! I remember stopping reading the Deathly Hallows when Dobby died, and when Fred died. At least with Martin, we know that he kills off somebody there every now and again so your heart is guarded. But this is not Game of Thrones! This is not even The Walking Dead!!! (Boy, I wonder what’ll happen if Daryl Dixon dies) Killing off Will? My heart cannot absolutely take it. I’m not even at that episode and I’m so freaking worried. Why do you make us invest emotionally and kill them off just like that? WHY??? And after such a good season five start!
I really wish this is all a bad dream or you know, you can always have a plot twist: #WillLives like a bad plot every telenovela the Philippines has! Ooops! I mean if #SherlockLives maybe Will can, too? Can somebody bring in the Fringe team? Maybe Walter Bishop can help!
You finish an entire series and suddenly you question your life’s existence.
I’m scared of finishing and catching up with the episodes, because that means I’ve nothing to watch, no more back aches and watching ’til the rooster cuckoos (this part is true, my father has 4 roosters in our house, ack) huhuhuhuhu
But on the brighter side, more time to find new fictional stories to invest emotionally in? The cycle goes. Gahd, I need a life. What is life? But before that, lemme watch the The Good Wife’s fifth season first and see how can my heart take Will dying. Maybe I’ll just watch few episodes of FRIENDS afterwards so I won’t feel bad. FRIENDS is an instant picker upper anyway.
hello current obsession. #heartheart I WILL MISS YOU, WILL.
So what about you? Do you ever binge-watch and become so emotionally-invested in a TV series you don’t know what to do when all this ends and question your existence and sound like a freaking retarded online that nobody wants to take seriously for the time being, too? No? Seriously? Are you normal? Do you even watch TV? What? I need to get a life? What? You’d rather hit the gym? Hahaha! Wasn’t it a joke? No? For what, Instagram #gymrat or #balikalindog2015? Where’s the alindog? Do you know you’re under oath?
I need these shirts.
*all photos are not mine.