2014 you

2014 in a nutshell.

Hola! I know I may be a little too late in giving you words of wisdom since 2015 has started and the first month of the year is almost over, but we both know that you’re always the procrastinator, the habitual latecomer, so this pep talk still has bearing, right? Especially now that you’re struggling with life and the idea of not knowing the future is like staring into a black hole, it always scares you. So let this letter be a reminder that everything is going to be fine, like how last year has turned out. You’re the 2015 you, you got out alive and kicking in 2014, and we both know how 2014 has been, so that’s saying a lot!

If that did not convinced you that all is going to be well, look at your 2014 battle scars, gladiator, and tell me that that is not enough. Still not convinced? Let me tell you some stories that will make you think otherwise.

Remember in January of 2014 when your mother decided it’s time to leave the country and try her luck abroad? That was the first and longest time you lived without your mom. The sad thing was that you weren’t there when she left, you were at work. It was hard living without a mother, especially since she has been there all the time. She is at your beck and call. In fact, there were times when you had to message or call her on Viber just to ask her where did she put your so and so. That was funny, and pathetic at the same time. But you get by.

You were also able to go out of the country for the first time! With your own money! Twice! First was in Phuket, Thailand where you meet up with your mother and uncle in March and the second one was in Sabah, Malaysia. You were able to see the world beyond the Philippine area of responsibility and see how the other world works! Btw, you have gots to finish that Kota Kinabalu travel diary, stop procrastinating! Start posting! Also, you finally got a luggage perfect for travels! Yay you! They said every grown woman should own a decent one, so maybe you are starting to become a grown woman. Ehem. You wrecked the TSA lock though, but luckily, your luggage has lifetime warranty, so bring it to the manufacturer already! Hooray for more travels! Let’s keep our fingers crossed that you’ll be able to cross at least half of them this year!

No doubt the biggest thing that happened to you in 2014 was when you, along with friends and workmates finally stood up for something. Over a hundred people bravely challenged the system, and this early, I am telling you, that is saying a lot already. I never pegged you for a social change-r and the “makibaka, huwag matakot” kind, because let’s face it, you hate the heat, but life always surprises you in more ways than you can ever imagine.

With that kind of courage, things snowballed into many eventful and life-changing shebangs that you will never forget. Case in point: You almost lost your job twice this year. The first time was when your contract’s ending in #0630 and the second scare was the end of the year non-renewal of contracts. You were prepared, but fate wanted you to finish what you started. Frankly, the whole thing is reminiscent of the whole end of the world thing scare, what with the Mayan calendar ending in 2012, but we all know that that was a hoax, so here you are, still wondering about what the future holds. On the bright side, at least you know for a fact that your #buhaymedia is ending on #06302015, and nothing pacifies you more than knowing, and being able to plan ahead. The real regal shocker though is how you are taking it: it’s like this job had not been your dream job. It still is, right? Or are we not sure of that anymore now? Maybe you finally realized your worth. And that there is a whole new world besides being behind the camera and telling stories, and there is really nothing wrong with that. But remember that while you’re still there; make it worth your while. Make every episode count, give it your best shot, the way you would when you were still madly in love.

On a positive note, you were able to gain more friends than you could ever imagine. You have spent some of 2014’s highlights with this bunch and you wouldn’t have had it any other way. Sure there were the occasional misunderstandings, but that was nothing compared to the countless clingy moments you shared with them.

Work-wise, you know that your bosses appreciated all your efforts and made sure that you know it. Be forever grateful for that. Some of the most amazing things in your media life also happened in 2014. You were able to travel to a lot of places for free! And getting paid, too! And meet lots of people!

You have been a part of something so special, both moving and life-changing. GMA News TV’s #maypinagdadaanan #maypagasa campaign has been a great experience for you. Not a lot of people can say that they were able to interview the biggest names in the broadcast industry, (let me brag and namedrop, please?)Jessica Soho, Mike Enriquez and Kara David all in a week, so really, thank you to my bosses who bullied me into interviewing them. It has been a pleasure. Beyond that, being a part of something larger than life like this project is a humbling experience. To be surrounded by the most inspiring people from all walks of life left me in awe struck. I couldn’t believe it still.

To end the year and raising money for a good cause for my mother show has been one of 2014’s highlights as well. Seeing the faces of lolos and lolas in Tahanan ni Maria was worth all the Powerhouse team’s efforts, and the problems we encountered before all of that suddenly become miniscule, almost nonexistent.

2014 threw a lot of curveballs your way BUT! you also have to give yourself a pat on the back for some of the un-Carmina-ish things that you did in 2014. You finally break some of your walls, you experimented on your hair. After cutting it boy short in 2012, you dyed it thrice last year in colors you wouldn’t have done a year or so before. And that’s saying a lot!

You got held up for the first time, and put your theater acting skillz you learned in college. Honestly, I didn’t know you could act until then, you were able to save your phone along with your precious contacts with it! You also got yourself a mutual fund after five years of working, so let me give you another pat on the back on your road to maturity. You were able to get published in a national broadsheet for the second time around as well!

2014 was the year when you finally leave your early 20s behind. You turned 26 and decided to throw a simple party to people closest to your heart. Sure, you have at least just around 30 guests and cooked mean spaghetti, shanghai and chicken for them, but que horror, being a host is so freakin’ hard! You’re not made for it. So this early, let me remind you to NOT do it again. Cooking for these people has been fun and all, but you have never been exhausted in any of your birthdays before, so let’s just say that that’s one for the road. If you were invited and you missed, sorry! You did it because you’re on your late twenties now, cringe, and let’s not do it again. Please.

And let’s not forget! You were able to see Taylor Swift live with your sister! It was one hell of an experience and what made it even more special was you guys were able to take your niece with it, another Swiftie, to celebrate her eighth birthday! Let’s just say, you guys have been on her number one list that day!

Your father finally realized that you’ll never be fazed by his constant teasing of you as a tomboy, or the non existence of a boy in your life for x number of years. This means you were finally able to master the resting bitch face, that, or he just got tired of asking when are you going to bring a boy home. The good thing is that he even compared you to Marian Rivera, saying “si Marian nga, trenta mahigit na nag-asawa. Hindi na naman uso maagang mag-asawa ngayon diba?” he says hopefully. And the only thing that you remember is how he compared you to Marian Rivera. ANG.HABA.NG.HAIR.

Some of your friends wonder if you would ever find someone that is up to the standards, while others wonder if you would ever want to give up your single blessed-ness. Some few others have voiced out their opinion about your singlehood: “bawasan mo ang katarayan mo kasi, Mina,” “hindi ako magpapakilala ng kaibigan ko kay Mina, paiiyakin lang niya,” and some would even go as far as “halaman yan si Mina e.” You always laugh, but you still don’t know what you want. Of course you’d want to settle down and have the whole picket fence, kids and to not grow old alone, one day. But that’s the funny thing about life, you don’t always know when’s it going to say “Yes” to you, or will it ever?

Despite not finding love yet, you must always remember that you are loved. You are full of flaws and sometimes people hate you for it. You always lack emotion and tend to hold everything inside. But you really have to be proud of yourself. You are letting go of anchors, some are trying to hang on, but you have to know which ones are worth saving, so you can finally sail away.

Stop being a bitch. Try to be nicer. Smile more. Stop wasting money on shopping. See your nieces more. Have more chats with your father. Keep in touch with your mother more. Bond more with your siblings. Give others the chance to get close to you. Tear down your walls. Eat more. Exercise more. Live healthy. Meet more friends personally. Forgive. Stop over analyzing. Try to stop binge-watching — who are you kidding? Haha!

Remember how overwhelmed you were when you watched “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” a few days back? Do not be Walter Mitty –the daydreaming, boring, scaredy cat guy in act one. Be the Walter Mitty—who rides a plane to Greenland in a moment’s notice, who jumps off from the helicopter and fought a shark, who follows an erupting volcano and climbs the mountain in Afghanistan all in search for the elusive Sean Penn. Be that guy. Do not be afraid to fall, because, what if instead of falling, you fly?

“Chase after the dreams that scare you.” Think about that thing you’ve been thinking about. Maybe it’s about time you become your own boss. Go for more. Make more mistakes. Stop making wishes; you are your own genie in a bottle. You are now older and wiser. I assure you, 2015 is going to be your bitch. Do not let your krungy self think otherwise.

Love,

2014 Carmina

P.S.

What about you? What are your notes to the 2015 you?

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